


better watch out, better not pout

by badraph



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M, just like me, very short and very dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 11:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15971711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badraph/pseuds/badraph
Summary: What's crazier: Krampus being real or Krampus taking a look at all the Titans and singling outNightwingas the naughtiest one of the bunch?





	better watch out, better not pout

What's crazier: Krampus being real or Krampus taking a look at all the Titans and singling out _Nightwing_ as the naughtiest one of the bunch?

 _Naughtiness_ and Dick Grayson don't even seem like they belong in the same zip code. If any of them were gonna be eaten by bad Santa for being naughty, Roy's pretty sure he's been into more shit he shouldn't have than all of them combined.

It's actually pretty funny once they get far enough away for it to stop being completely terrifying.

“Stop it!” Dick hisses the fifth or sixth time Roy elbows him and whispers _naughty_ while making a pit stop in rural Pennsylvania somewhere after too many hours trapped in the shitty pickup truck they'd appropriated near the scene of the summoning.

Even if they'd been in a bit of a hurry, with what was basically the literal devil at their heels, Roy really wishes they would've had the foresight to pick something a little faster. Or something with a roll-bar. Dick drives like a fucking maniac. He's almost done Krampus's job for him a few times already.

“Road trip?” the girl behind the register guesses when they lay out their collection of junk, candy, and energy drinks on the counter. A rerun of the evening news playing on the small TV over her head with a bold, _CHRISTMAS IN JULY? UNKNOWN CREATURE IN HOLIDAY ATTIRE SPOTTED WREAKING HAVOC,_ headline over grainy phone footage of Krampus charging down an empty street. The awkward way his hooves force him to run would make Roy laugh if the video didn't remind him how that thing's running around out there looking for _them_.

“Yeah,” he says, and nods up at the screen. “On the run from unsaintly Nick over there. Kind of a life time naughty lister, you know?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Dick tense, but the girl just laughs, of course, because the idea of having to run from your life from the demonic goat Grinch is so ridiculous it's funny to most people. She hands him his bag and his change with a smile. “Stay safe out there.”

“No promises,” he says, and waves as they push out the door.

“ _Why_ do you do that?” Dick scowls, pulling his jacket tighter at a cold rush of wind.

“I could've sworn you had a sense of humor when we were kids.”

“I'm just saying—hey!” He makes an outraged sound as Roy swipes the keys from his hand (no small feat, thank you very much) and jerks them out of his reach before he can snatch them back, forever thankful for the inches he has on him. “What—”

“You almost flipped us,” he makes his case, and steps quickly out of the way when Dick makes a grab. “Twice!”

Dick scoffs in offense. “I did _not_.”

“Dude, you drive like you got your license from the GTA DMV, and—and!” Roy holds up a finger when he goes to argue. “You need to rest, anyway.”

“I'm—”

“Come on, man,” he tries the sympathetic approach instead. “You hadn't slept in days even before all this. Most people would've fallen out by now.”

“I'm not most people,” Dick says— _actually_ says, drops the line without so much as a trace of joking, rips words straight from the mouth of the asshole boyfriend in every bad novel this century with a deadly serious expression, stone cold proof of how out completely of it he must be.

Roy shakes his head. “Whatever, Edward,” he says. “You still ain't driving.”

Dick's eyes narrow.

A brief staring contest ensues.

“You really wanna stand here and fight about it until Krampus catches us?” Roy asks after a few seconds. “I'm not the one that thing's trying to kill, naughty boy.” He grins at the twitch his new favorite nickname elicits. “We can stand here and fight until he catches us for all I care.”

“ _Ugh_ ,” and SuperFan magazine's six times voted most charming hero stomps all the way to the passenger's side door.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is so short and so dumb but i wrote it forever ago w intentions to turn it into a full on road trip fic and then proceeded to never look at it again and im just TIRED of seeing it in my docs folder so im putting the first portion of it here as a little ficlet until i get my act together or somebody guilts me into working on it again ;) lol (that is a joke please dont do that)  
> anyway, thanks for reading <3


End file.
